As many of you know, I’ve only lived in TN for 2.5 years. Not that I haven’t lived in the state before, as a girl from the age of 3 to the age of 10 we lived in Scott County TN. We moved around a lot when I was growing up. However, I lived in the Greenville, SC area for 12 years. Two of my children were born there and I always considered it home. At least I did until about 1.5 years ago.
Yeah even though I lived in the Knoxville area for more than 2 years it took at least a year for me to consider it “home”. When we moved to TN I felt like I left my home behind. I was sad and upset and then the terrible happened. My dad dies. I was hurt and ready to turn around and run back to SC where things were familiar and comfortable.
In my spirit I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew God had us in Knoxville for a reason. He still does. He has not released us from this area as of yet. But I wanted to just run back for “safety’s” sake. But that is not what God wants. Before long Knoxville started pushing its way into my heart. When it happened, I’m not sure, but it did.
This past weekend we went to South Carolina and as I enjoyed catching up with our friends and seeing the places we used to spend time at, it became so clear to me that Greenville, SC was no longer home for me. Yes its beautiful, but I didn’t feel the same way about it that I used to. In fact my heart rejoiced as we crossed the TN state line and I was once again on “my” side of the mountains. I didn’t have the longing I once did for our house and home in SC in fact my desire and longing was for Knoxville.
Growing up my heart always longed for a “home”. I don’t ever regret the life that I lived and I do enjoy traveling to new places but I wanted some place that I could always go back to. Of course, I have called different states my home over time. So God reveals to me that “Home” is where he has me at different times but my real home is always with Him. Home is staying in the will of God for my life. Not living where others think we should live. Not a place where I grew up or my spouse grew up. Home is where God is. That is all there is to it.
Our work in SC is over. Our work in TN has already begun and we will continue to be led by the Lord and do what He is calling us to do. I learned that as long as I stay in God’s will for my life that I will always feel at “home” doing what we must do. I need to stop putting so much emotion in a physical place and start putting my ALL into His work that He has given me.
As I look forward to my next trip to connect with our friends in SC I am content on doing what God has called me to do here. I am content in living in God’s will.